emo-ing

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

<3

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,
Up above in my head, instead of going under.
Instead of going under.

sum41 - with you

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

<3

weezer - prefect situation

What's the deal with my brain?
Why am I so obviously insane?
In a perfect situation
I let love down the drain.
There's the pitch, slow and straight.
All I have to do is swing
and I'm a hero, but I'm a zero.

Tell me there's a logic out there.
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come.
Tell me there's some hope for me.
I don't wanna be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth.

<3

so what

so what
who cares
my heart has already been broken duno how many times
does it make a different tis time ?

i can do wateva i want
i want to look
means i wan to look
not like im stalking him or anything
it's not a crime
he cant sue me....
im not doin anything wrong.....
im jus goin wit my feelings !!!

worst of all

no need to say
im disappointed
everything is jus so not.....
aiksss
i aso duno wat to say
assign bye bye
him aso bye bye
wateva
everytime aso like tat
y m i like tat?
i dun wan look anymore
i dun wanna feel anymore

waiting death sentence.....

ok
now im in library
reach here like early in the morning
where there was no people
but now like getting more n more
no privacy
lol
but obviously rite
it's the library
people come here to study n do stuff.....
lol.....

waiting waiting for the presentation
help~~~~~
surely =_____=

stopped....

this day has finaly come
yes
i cant denied it
im sad
im heart broken
but u mmg know adi rite?
tis wan u ownself cari de
is your own fault lo....

you anticipate again the oni 2 days in the week tat u can c him
2day even tie hair properly n wear earrings
but what did u get?
disappointment
2day he standin the middle
he didnt stand bside his gal
i duno y
but he in the middle i cant c him
so he trying to avoid me rite?
haizzzz
totally avoiding me.....

well tis is the end i guess...
no more for me
make me dun feel like goin to comabt on mon n tues
haizzz
cant wait till i training then mayb no need c him anymore....

you look so beautiful today
i tried to look at you but you move away
i guess that means that is not okay
what can i do?
my heart is turning grey....

permenant heartbreak !
i'll jus b by the sidelines
looking at him.....
doin tat is not a crime rite?

lazy lonely gal....

huhuhuh
reali lazy
got assignment n presentation
but im here
slacking
lol
i noe
i will face the consequences later =p

im still thinking of you
can i b blame?
not something i can control
i hate tis part right here
when u r single
dun have anyone to hug
or to lean on
the closest u hav is ur family

u noe
the 3 days when i was alone
coz mum went singa land
n waiting for sis to come back
i was so lonely
i really wanted someone special to b by my side
someone for me to hug
haizzz

after fetch mum n sis from airport
i hugged my mum to sleep in the car
it was the best feeling ever :)
i love family <3
i aso hope i will find u soon
i want you so bad <3

outta my outta my head....

i must b outta my head
coz y m i so loyal to him ?
sometime there is leng chai at gym
but i dun care or dun wanna look at them
hen hao xiao lo
y must b so loyal to him?
mayb ppl jus toying wit u, u pun tak tao ah
must b somehing wrong wit me
not my bf aso so loyal
siao lang
i stil can look at other guys de !

you oni c him twice a week !
one single thing aso duno about him!
siao !

suddenly emo
something wrong wit me
coz now home alone
aiks....
he is nothing but a crush
im sure....
face reality gal !

the meaning of tis....

finaly
the day tat i anticipated has come
first body combat class after 10 days....
i have been dreaming about wat it will be like
but of coz my dream is better than reality

mom followed me
so i was no lonely
of coz saw him la....
d0no wat tis mean....
but jus let me talk the crap of 2day here ok? =p

mom went out first....
so when i went out....
go looking for her....
saw him through glass window...
he adi standing there wit his gf....(I THINK!!!)
u noe y i think?
bcoz they everytime 2gether....
arghhh
idc....
my mum was standing where i can c him veri clearly ==
anyway after tat we jus went in lo
the new floor
lol
reali veri new....
makes the room bigger or it is jus i long time no been inside joh...lol
then the mirrors like so clear
i could c him practically from anywhere....
lol
anyway i try to avoid looking at him at first
but after little while
aiksss
couldnt resist
so sorry....
lol

conclusion is nothing happen ok !
so no big deal
still the same
you know nothing about tis guy....
wats the point?
so exciting to look at him twice a week which will result in nothing?
forget forget forget !
which u apparenty cant unless you stop gointo combat
or he stop goin to combat !
ughhh
see how it goes during july
when training comes
i wont b able to see him anymore....
good or bad?
mayb for the better....

tal
u always hav crushes that would never ever result in anything
it is always moot
so enjoy while u can
bfore it goes away....

robin hood !

wow
im so tired but hapi !
went 2 c robin hood n furry vengeance !
wakakakaka
robin hood is the bomb !
furry vengeance iis jus ur other comedy
but still nice coz got the brandon guy from mummy
russel crowe look so handsome
lol
i know he is old but ada gaya la xD

2day is at midvaley
went there early early
to buy ticket
then makan makan
jalan jalan
buy my black high heel for training n interview
lucky got one :)
then so bought a paper straw hat !
lol
i been wanting a straw hat but all so expensive
im hapi to get tis coz it oni cost me rm15 !!!!
weeeee~~~<3
then of coz bought my mags aso...
hehehe
saw the lollipop phone
feel like wanna buy le.....
huhuhu
take my money go shopping or buy phone eh???
if im buying it
i wanna decide bfore my training lo.....
coz after tat i think i wil lose interest liao....
hmmm
c how it goes
i stil hav time.....

o ya...one more thing....

n i hate of not seeing you !
i may lose interest in you !
i mean im like tat ok....
i dun c the fellow anymore....
so surely my eyes will look around right?
1 week is no joke
especally a guy u dun even noe
u jus look at him oni

irritating !
if he care he should at least come....
but noooo
u dun see him.....
n im tired....
i went after bfore n it fail
i duno whether i can take another wan....
enough heartbreak !

n some ppl cant move on?
like my fren
she reali love her ex
stil will accept him back anytime
n mayb my mum too...
even she dun show
actually stil care about my dad gua....
they r not the oni guy in the world !
but these feelings i wont understand
u cant tell a person to give up when they stilhave feelings
mayb i never reali loved a person bfore....
havent understand it yet

i hate....

u know wat i hate ?
a lot of stuff
lol
who doesnt?
but now im gonna cover on one topic oni i guess
coz its getting on my nerves

someone that is not satisfied wit their own work
dno how 2 improve it themselves
keep saying oh ur wan better la.....which is such a fraud
keep saying oh im gonna fail....blah blah blah....
always last minute
i mean even worse last minute then me leh!
me already bad enough adi lol.....
keep saying from start of sem
oh i got a lot of idea....
i jus duno how 2 put into words....
==
means no idea la....
last time i helped
tis time no way~~~im done helping

o yeah
i aso hate ppl tat not on time
dun past up on time
dun giv me my stuff on time....
==
haiz
unfortunately we have to live wit the weaknesses
i noe
i aso got....
will try to improve
or at least do a better job
not lie around n frut over what is already happen
which u cant change....
dun b so negative ppl !

craving shopping =(

shit
so many nice stuff
wanna buy
huhuhu
but body size still not nice enough to fit onto everything that i wan ==
y laaa
i so big size....n meaty
lol
well it's jus who i m!
who cares !
love me or hate me =p

gym 2day was booooooring....
run 15 mins.....do 2 other machines....for 15 mins each tooo....
then tats it....
lol
boring la....
but at least got sweat la....
leg aso pain
coz long time no run le...
doin tis for a week....
walao eh...
can tahan gua....

i wanna b a billionaire so freaking bad ~~~~
new song....
lol
serious...not kidding
by travis mccoy ft bruno mars
enjoy !

1 week no combat !!!

dont call my name
im not your babe ~~~
lol
lady gaga new song
alejandro <3
love it
kekeke

well 2day mother's day
hapi mother's day
my mood ok ok oni lo....
haizzz...
feel like something missing
speak wit mum aso like got something not right =/
hmmmm
i hope it past soon.....

1 week no combat
so back on running in gym lo
nothing to do aso
dun go then aso canot
i feel that gym is part of my life
i never go like no moood le....
==
if this a gud thing or bad thing?
gym addict?
gym obsessiveness?
i duno
but exercise is gud right?
i dun think is that bad
lol

sis faster come back !
studies faster over !
i need to shopping !!!
lol

prayers answered?

no complains
lucky~~~
mayb bcoz i was prepare
when she throw me question
i was ready to answer them
lol
anyway finance we all die la hah
weeee~~~<3
im stil goin gym to relax....
i dun care.....
be hapiiiii~~~~~

im not afraid to take a stand !
holla if u think that u been down the same road !

y my love prayers havent answer yet?
lol
anyway i didnt pray for love la
i dun do that
even though everytime i got think about pray for love
but in the end i always pray for the protectiong of my family :)
if u pray for love
it's like you r so selfish le...
i dun wan to b that person.....hehe
=p

aiya
i can get over tis !

it suckSSS

im sorry
but sometime my frens just sucks
lucky the finance i ownself take it on by myself
even though im suffering now
but i dun regret my decision
they keep on saying
oh i feel bad bcoz i never contribute lo
blah blah shit la....
bcoz to me....when i ask them to do something
i think they need like a decade to finish
lol
geng leh?
like now, tis gal, not mentioning name....say oh i will get it for you ah...
say duno how many days joh
now last minute aso canot giv me
wtf la u all
then the other one...still asking me how 2 do...
ask her do simple thing aso duno how 2 do....jus help me find pics aso so fucking hard?
ma hai la u all
i duno how they goin 2 survive la....
so sory
i noe im cursing
n mayb some familiar ppl will get to read tis
i apologise first
im writing this coz i realy beh tahan joh
if the other gal never do stuff but keep tell me i didnt add this shit that shit
go die la her
she think she boss meh
wat aso duno
next time
i wanna b the bad guy
good guy the worse....
anyway tis assign i aso noe i wont do well
so we all die together
dun blame me
blame me....well F them la mother F er.....

izit wrong?

izit wrong to like a guy veri much older than u ?
coz jus now i saw the korean drama
huhuhuhu
so kersian
jus bcoz the guy has a son, but single parent
n the girl he like is 10 years younger than him
then people critisize them ==
so bad lo....
haizzzz
if it''s true love
does it really matter?

jus bcoz the gal is young n never experience love bfore
her fren told the guy to back off
say that he should not take her youth away
i was like wtf
everybody has different love story lo
like this guy
he is a single parent wt a son
he aso deserve to have a second chance in love jus like anyone else ma
if the gal truly love him back too
y should we break them apart?

anyway mayb now im saying this coz i got a crush on an older guy
lol
possibly 10 years older too
lol
but i dun mind....
age does not matter to me....
even though my sis said i was crazy.....lol
mayb it will end one day.....

goin nutty

huhuhuhuhu
yesterday he didnt come
why why why ? =(
not seeing him
im not used to it
wasnt myself during body combat yesterday
wondering where he gone
his gal frens was there ma.....==

saw other guys
but nothing compared to him
huhuhuhuhu
im reali stuck or wat?

my high skool fren lidya working at my gym le
lol
yesterday she called
i somemore thought who izit
then when i go gym tat time go c her lu
nice catching up wit her :)
after combat somemore sent her home
hehehee
special service for special fren.....^^

yesterday would have been perfect if oni he came
haizzzz
1 week not gonna c him coz gym renovating the studio floor
so no body combat for a week!
ahhhhh
how how how
if faith is on my side
plz let me meet him outside ><
i wishing veri hard
but 2day my horoscope say let things come naturally....
got to wait again ==
waiting is the worse....

is this the end of the moment?
i duno
jus now afternoon sleep for half hour aso dream about him
haizzz
so nice
kersian reality not tat nice...
lol
now rushing assign!!!!
wish me luck!!!
tis week faster past !

crush on you

i duno wat izit
but the more i see
the more i like you
izit a good thing
i duno
n i dun care
i can get my heart broken
it doesnt matter
coz all i know is that now i like you <3

tis week is gonna b a hectic week
rushing assign
after tis week then i will b sort of free
i hope so lol

had italian lunch....
weeee ~~~<3
it was delicious !
get to c leng chai aso...
lol
chef ppl are good looking .....lol

then balik
mum back adi aso
raining but nvm
eat eat eat again....
delicious again ! xD
i think i fatter joh ==
haizzz
dun care le
im enjoying myself
took usual afternoon nap lu

woke up
get ready for gym
mummy tis time got come
so went there
veri funny coz kena scare by mum's fren
lol
not her fault la
jus tat me n mum was taken by shock
funny~~~ xD
then reach gym lu
mum went out of changing room first....
i stil inside...
then i walk out lu when it's time
filll my water bottle
then suddenly i feel got someone behind me
it's him le !
never look straight at him la...
kekeekke ><
then go to mum standing there coz class not yet start
c him filling his water
then he walk over to his frens there
i think he kept looking over
but i dun dare look back coz mum there wei
lol
mayb it's jus perasan xD
i could hear his voice again <3
nice voice le
i think he can hear mine too coz mum n i was talking
then went in
he went in first with his frens...
i stand the area that canot c him through the mirror....
lol
but then when class start i still get to c him through mirror la...
coz moving around ma.....
i guess got eye contact gua...
i hope so....
hehe

then push up n sit up time
went to get the mat
he always walk where i walk lo :)
hehe
then 2day tis is the most surprise thing ever for me !
i's the reason y im so hapi
lol
usualy he take mat then he will go back to his place in front of the class
far away from me ma
mana tau !
he after take mat
came back
n put his mat behind me on the right ><
hahahahhahax
so hapi n awkward...
coz tis time he bhind me
as usual look at him through mirror
so handsome lo <3
for me la xD

put back mat that time not same timing like him lo
coz i got to go get mum's mat
pity....
but still!!!! xD
i veri hapi le
huhuhuhuhuhu
i dun care wat is his relationship wit the gal
i dun care whether he is taken.... or mayb jus think of me as a fling
i dun care about getting my heart broken
im jus positive of my feelings towards him :)
i hope so.....lol