friday breakdown......

damn not nice day lo.....
damn damn damn.....
f**king not nice.....

jam on the way
damn panas baran dah
then at class
frens my dress so not nice
all the stupid words all keluar
omg
my mood lagi not good....
i was like wat the heck man
i like 2 take risk wit my clothes
i dun wear ur normal everyday stuff
if u duno tat
well u duno me
n u dun understand me
so whole day damn f**king bad
chee mood aso not good
coz of her stuff
well at least somebody on the same wavelength as me
now i noe y guy fren will always remain guy fren
there willl b no changes
sory but i still prefer galfrens
im not like my sis
i admit adi
i will not try 2 do good 2 them anymore
i'm gonna do wat i wan
it's my life
i had enough

n him
n ihtm9 guy
n alex
or whoever tat i ever lay my eyes on
f**k off !
i duno whether it's oni 2day
or i wil change my mind 2molo or later
but i jus feel like saying tat now....
n i dun care whether i regret it
coz i always say i wont look i wont care
but in the end i stil look i still care
why why why?
why so stupid
u noe u gonna crash n burn
but u stil plunge in like a fool
damn it

where's my angel
i wan somebody tat loves me for who i m
not keep saying me fat
say this say tat
sometimes it jus hurt but they duno....

where r u
i need you
i wanna see you
i wanna hug u
tis is a test isn't it
let me jealous of all the couples in the world
sitting here on my own
all i hav is myself
wondering when my love is gonna come
i noe it wont b soon
i jus keep fantasizing
but i noe it wont happen
still carry a useless hope
which wont come true

home alone.....

now home alone
mama outstation
koko duno hilang where =.=
whole house 2 myself....
well
let's get over the details of today

met deidre on the way 2 skool again
turn back then saw her
saw another ihtm6 guy bhind me aso....
scare me =.=
at entrance saw ihtm9 guy sitting at bursary there wo xD
im crazy or wat leh....hahax
he wearing red t shirt 2day
not bad ^^
then met chee n charmaine in toilet
lol
so crowded
then go class lo

2dAY he wear pink shirt
huh
anyway class start lo
finaly get 2 talk 2 a foreigner guy which is not my class de
he aso taking same sub
his name is farhad
noe little bit chinese wo....quite geng....hahax....friendly guy....

after class lo....he hilang liao =.=
so walk wit eli dic chee dei n chris to choy kee lo
at entrance saw the whole ihtm6 geng
we walk, they aso walk wo.....
all aso smoke de =___= my god.....
alex walk bhind us....never walk wit his fren
he veri quiet leh
duno y i always will notice him de....hmmmm....
he walk tat time no smoke....weird leh
then later he catch up wit his fren
mayb coz he is my type so i notice him.......eheheheheh :P

we sat opposite from them.....
i sit not facing them lo....
dun wan face....awkward....
hahax....
aaron's back face me....
the smoke veri heavy wei =.=
then !!!! surprise surprise !!!
ihtm9 guy n frens came !!!!! xD
i was like shock n excited.....LOL
dic say i siao liao....
hahahhax
canot ah? single gal ownself high.....hahax....
he sat where i can c him.....
hahahahax....
but he chao early again....=.=
everytime aso like tat....
then shaun came over talk 2 chee
chee ask me ask him question == swt...i where got dare leh....
she jus ask the name oni
his name is ruben....or rubern? duno how 2 spell =/
nice name....i wan noe his chinese name la
n his age....xD siao liao
dun mind me plz.....hahax.....
i think the whole ihtm6 bhind me aso heard the conversation xD
sit so near us....
malu malu....lol

went back skool wit eli n dic
go comp lab nothing 2 do
saw him again wo ^^
go everywhere aso c him de.....heheheheh

then eng class
walao eh
gik shi wo
dun like her !!!
=.=

after that go chee house rest n sleep
coz mum not here ma
i hav my own dinner lo wit frens
dic kel elvin chee n me walk 2 uptown makan meee
50% leh
veri nice oh ^^
dic belanja wo
tq tq :)
then jalan jalan then balik
hehehehe
overall nice day la 2day :D
waitin 2molo !!!!
more 2 come !

straight through my heart.....

straight through my heart
you got me
i guess im bleeding but im still breathing

here comes trouble again
i better act carefully
he duno wat he's doin 2 me
everytime he is the wan tat attract me
my heart tells me 2 leave but my senses aint listening.....

on the way walk 2 skool
saw him walking out
i bend my head
didnt say hi......duno wat 2 do la !
he aso no reaction so i dun care !
well !
beverage class cancel =.=
kinda disappointed
thought can drink some alcohol even though i dislike it
but !
aso good thing
coz i saw ihtm9 guy :)
his class next 2 mine leh!
he wear a formal shirt wit jeans
soooo suit him :D hahax
so handsome.....lol

so boring after tat
went makan wit frens lo
after tat they all go cc =.=
i aso play little bit 4 fun
zombie game
omg xD

then went comp lab wit bubble tea....
hehehe
i think i saw ihtm9 guy at comp lab but i was not too sure.....hmmmmm
saw chris n gf
hang out lo.....
then went 2 class wait class start
he came
as usual....talk 2 my frens oni....no eye for me
well i aso no eye for u ! blek
suddenly he bcame so fren wit kel kin they all =.=
i veri not shiok lo
deidre say i jealous lol
HUH
sibeh kia la.....

industrial training class later.....
he was in my line of sight again ! =.=
on purpose izit?
i turn my head.....see him pulak =.= damn it
if u dun like me can u dun b in my line of sight ????
i had it laaaaaa
dun play wit meee
im fragile u noeee

oni in my mind.....

told ya
all the perasan i told you
reali is perasan
i think....
mayb im positive
jus dun wann admit....
lol :P
i tied my hair on mon
got some good response from my fren...
hehe
mon aso nothing
he nothing
guys nothing....cheh.....
jus a fragment of my imagination
i'll jus continue strutting my thing.....lol

tues
alcohol class
ewwwww
i hate pure vodka....yuck !
then after class saw ihtm9 guy
but dun think he notice me
at kdu square
he always walk walk half way then turn back de hoh
weird fellow
he was alone
if only one day i hav the guts
i'll approach him xD

legion fri n boring sat......

friday !
marketing class
met deidre on the way 2 class....so walk 2gether
nearing LTB, saw him past by....he goin toilet gua
saw classmates standing outside....
mai aso stand outside lu
then chris came....then chee came....
we were jus chatting outside there lo....
then he came out from toilet...went into class first
mana tau he came out again, a drink in his hand....
i didnt noe where he went coz i didnt look where he was goin....
but of all i never expect him to stand like close bhind me ?!?! u noe?
i thought he take the drink n go somewhere
i was busy chatting wit chris n chee so i didnt notice lo
he actually was standing bhind me all tis time !
when we wanted to go in class oni i notice u noe !
=.= so wat man....
he stand bhind me quiet like a stone like tat
i totally didt notice or feel anything...
veri stupid =.=

then in class....
mayb i perasan again....coz i always do
he lookin at my direction 0.0 a few times.....
coz i look at him tat time i always look out of the corner of my eye....
i dun look directly de.....
so i notice...
mayb it's jus my eye playin wit me
coz kay was in front of me....n she's pretty
so mayb he was jus looking at her

if a leng lui is by ur side n guys is looking at u
the guys R TOTALLY NOT looking at you
tats wat i learn :)
im not sad about it
it's just a fact....

anyway he went back early so watever la....
after class went to see LEGION
:D :D :D
so yeng n so handsome man !
i LOve it !
heeee :P
after tat went back home go gym lo
tired like hell....
sat somemore got class
reali dreading it !
then period came! holy shit! =.=

saturday!
damn
wake up in the morning feeling like zombie =.=
class on sat
wat the heck man
how good can tis get
n period....damn it....
went to skool....
met kelvin n elvin on the way
saw bianca at entrance....
hang out there n c everyone arriving....

then go class
walao eh
i dun like tat position of that class wan lo
besides hotel skool, we hav culinary n enginerring ppl
engineering guys look not bad xD
intro intro intro.....
then form groups for assign....goood....faster the better...
then wait for time to balik....
then now at home....makan makan tired tired wan sleep
guess not goin gym even though i feel fat coz period ! =.=
damn irritating....

then mayb i perasan again
but i like to write about it :P
coz tis is the only place i can b perasan lol....
another ihtm6 guy....keep looking at me
i noe i noe
i tell tis a lot of time it sounds hilarous...
but i stil wanna say it
tis guy hav cool tattoos all over him.....
tats wat attrated me to him in the first place..
he is chinese...not tall lol....23 years old ah i think.....
anyway he is jus one of my type...
so im dreaming
coz i dun think a guy like him would b interested in a gal like me
guys like him like usually get the leng luis.....hahax...
he look like gangster but i didnt think so even the first time i saw him
coz i like saw a shy part or small boy part of him
he has a soft voice
when he smile....reali look like small boy xD hahax....
jus reali different....softer than he looks
but he smokes....=.=
im dreaming :) dun mind me.....single ppl do wat single ppl do
imagine romantics =p

pb finish liao lol....

fat lol
i jus finish pb
n never go gym 2day
wakakaka
reali fat lol

2day accounting class i was like halfway huh huh huh ??
reali hate calculating.....=.=
n he pop a plastic in class....reali loud....
kelvin say me pulak =.=
2day morning engine didnt reali start tats y....
but after tat it was much better

went 2 comp lab 2 renew my printing papers
then wait for 11 something for our lunch
wit chee n deidre
go cafe 87
4 course meal
rm15
my god
i full like hell lo
lucky didnt eat breakfast lo
tats y come back jus eat crackers n pb
but stil fat lol.....

then eng class....
my god...sien dao....
somemore whole class kena cakap for too quiet
after tat lagi no mood....
after class rain heavy pulak =.=
got 2 wait until it stop 2 walk....
teman deidre go buy bubble tea then send kelvin back then went home lu....
now home alone coz mum n bro not back yet...

n i notice a guy in ihtm9 adi....hahahahhax
n it's not korean !
he's chinese local i think
looks like
unless he is some foreigner
i hope not !
saw him 3 time liao lo
adi suspect he is ihtm9 de....mana tao reali wo ! ^^
okok looking
but duno y im attracted....hahahax :P
1st time in comp lab....he in uniform....doin his assign i think
2nd time he wear normal clothes....in comp aso...doin his assign again bah coz i heard him say tourism industry....
3rd time was 2day bfore eng class....
i was like peeking at him n telling deidre....lol
something 2 occupy my mind :)

dun believe me, it's a lie for you....

这颗想着，向着你的心
几时会融化
几时会消失
我不想在意的
但不在我的控制中

疯狂的想你的时候
希望在梦里再见

straight though my heart
you got me
im like a house of cards in the hurricane
you r a rose for me
but i cant resist u
you r the drug of me
i cant leave u alone
it always all come back to you

im not gonna lose tis !!

move along....

AAR song
move along move along
so y cant i jus do tat?
arghhhh
it's irritating

2day we drank alcohol
for beer tasting
lol
funny wei
class rep drunk xD
n my face not so red le
so gud thing bah.....kekeke

then after tat free for 5 hours =.= my god
boring like shit
went 2 hang out at chee hui house nothing 2 do

wait for 5pm for ms.wong class
talk 2 john for fun....lol
coz nothing 2 do

then saw him walking wit kin chris n betty
damn it
duno i was irritated by tat
mayb coz he oni talk 2 them but ignore me? =.=
damn it
tats a gud thing rite?
y dun i think so too ? =.=

after tat went back home eat pb !
i dun care
then in combat punch until gao gao
wish i was punching him lol :P

i just wan a pb......

lets talk in codes lol....
i hate bs or bs-ing
i lagi hate a sbpp to come n kacao me
tat is my ex bf....omg
he just cant get over himself tat low life worm
i noe i dumb you
i can apologise for tat or anything
but i jus dun wan him 2 come n kacao me anymore ok?
u got a gf
i wanna live my life tq !
n now currently pb makes me hapi :)

n kin lam plz stop calling me a driver n speak rudely sometimes....
sory la but i beh tahan ok....
it's reali rude n makes me beh song him
tats y didnt wanna fetch him anymore
it's not nice u noe
i dun like being use

n i duno whether it's me
surely i ownself perasan but tis guy in ihtm6 keeps looking at me =.='''
the malay guy
his name wahid ah?
like sometime i turn, he is coincidently looking at me too
sometime he wil look away
but sometime he jus stare right back la =.='''
something wrong wit my face ?
no offence but if only u were not malay
i'll play stare stare game wit u lol
coz i noe wit malay in the end wont hav an ending anyway
so y bother starting ?

2nd week....

i am seriously more hardworking tis sem
me n deidre
2day went 2 library borow 2 big big heavy books
my god....
=.=
carry home berat sial
but for the sake of studying
so no choice le ~
jia you jia you :)

now sitting here wit my beverage book....
geng leh :P
duno how much wil go in
but at least some la....

ok ok day....
actualy the thing wit him leh
nothing adi la
reali dun mind anymore
jus joking around wit my fren jeh i think....
coz he is reali not significant anymore in my life
after tis...
it's goin 2 b nothing....

n my allegic hands !!!!
omg....help
i hav ugly hands
who wanna hold my hand la...=__= no one lol....

okay day.....

2day was overall ok leee
went 2 class
c my frens chat chat chat
saw him in white.....Hahax...
i stil notice him la
but didnt reali bother le
then teacher came in
so listen 2 classs
then teacher ask us sit more in front
so he went in front
n i can c him =.=
i think it's better he sit bhind me
so my attention wont b towards him during classs

marketing totaly better than accounting !
i hate numbers except money :)
then eli ask me y i dun recomend him do mask
LOL
i aso not close wit him
how 2 say tis kind of thing wo
then i told her i didnt talk 2 him anymore lo
then she say korean guy not as good as they look
HahaHax
coz her bf is korean maaa
i say i duno le
coz i aso duno how they think de

then after class
me chee dic n kel go c movieee
we went makan first wit kin chris first la
then they 2 went back le
we saw case 39 at 1u....
ok le the show
as usual.....scary part i cover de xD
tis kelvin sit bside me so funny de lo....cover his ears LoL....
i didnt noe he is like tat de
dickson on my other side like nothing like tat wan == geng
chee aso like nothing de....
hahax
after movie went back home lo
coz i got dinner wit mum side
boring siaaaal
at last finish then went back home
now in room ~
2molo nees go gym
ate peanut butter
mum la
go buy =.=
fat leee
dickson say i thin adi
duno he joking or real
feel like he joking =p
overall okay :)

because im stupid....i know !

tis aint a song for the broken hearted
it's my life
my heart is like an open highway
im gonna do it my way

ok ok
yesterday i was like crazy maniac
2day im much under control
even though stil c him
but it was ok
i can control tis
mayb it's not a matter of i cant forget him
mayb i dun wan 2 forget him
so tis time
just try 2 wan 2 forget....
tat will b better

coz i realise tat im an aries.....he is too
so we should b somewat similar
so some things tat i dun like....
he wont like tooo
n i dun like tat the person tat im not interested keep coming n bothering me....
guys tat im not interested.....
so if i keep kacao him
he sure will b veri irritated lo....
so wat im doin, not talking, avoiding him is corect rite?
should b lol =.='

my fren say wat?
say it's like fishing....
now u loosen the string first...
but nooo
i like throw the whole fishing rod into the river
lol....
reali la...
chasing ppl veri tiring d....

the invisible man....

oni tuesday wont get 2 see him....
other days at least got 1 class get 2 see him
crazy gal
still thinking about him
but i cant help it ok?
god is like playing wit me
when im trying so hard 2 forget n avoid him
i see him everywhere !
but i know tat if i start 2 care again....
god wont let me hav my way wan....
y laaaaa

then tues tat day didnt c him....
like tak shiok
then 2day wed get 2 c him....
like so shiok =.=
stupid gal !
n somemore saw him everywhere wo....
my luck or wat hah?

first is me n frens went makan at choy kee
chris wit his gf....kin, deidre, dickson, chee lo....
then chat chat chat
oi????
he suddenly come n appear....
somemore sit in front of me coz tats the oni seat available =.=
then they all tease me....haizzz
i didnt dare say anything or look at him lo....
i only look at him when he was not looking....
stupid ben dan.....=__= feel so stupid...i am stupid...=__=

then in class aso keep noticing him....
when will i stop la?
then go library aso saw him wo!
=.= wit kin chris deidre n chee la...not alone
typical la...he oni talk wit them...didnt say a word 2 me
i think he aso avoiding me....
haixxxx

i know you wont feel anything for me
i aso try not 2 hope or wish
but my stupid mind always will think stupid things...
soo help me forget him la....plzzzz....
he aso not handsome....
came back from korea aso fat liao....
y laaaa
y stil him ???

you dont see me but i love you

first day of college....

whew.....
first day of college...not bad....
chit chat wit frens....laugh about....play around....nice :)
hehehe
no more same timetable wit ihtm6 le....
duno hapi or sad
coz wont get 2 c him n other ihtm6s.....
coz my class everyday c the same ppl ma....if combine wit them....at least get 2 c different ppl....hehe
but got a few classes same wit them la...but veri little le....

saw him tat time....try 2 avoid aso....but aso anticipating....hav mixed feelings...
damn....
but he aso no reaction adi...
so i guess tis is the end....
faster get over him bah !
not same timetable it's aso a good thing....
hope 2 c more leng chai ! xD

i hate liarsss

gym at 12.40pm
then went home lu
whole day at home....
when i got books
i dun mind being at home...

then evening mum back from singapore...finalyyy
then went dinnner wit her n bro....
then bought groceries
then after tat me n bro got 2 go my dad side there =.=

haiz....as respect lu...
go there mood somemore even worse.....
coz dad lied to his family about me....
damn it la....
so how u wan me 2 respect him when he treat me like tat?
i hate it!
i jus dun understand.....

lonely....

start of the day
gym gym gym
then went to get my books n necessaties.....

then thought go back home can enjoy my relaxation
but no electircity !! =.= damn it
so went out again
mum called 2 check on it
say whether bro got jaga me
i was like who the hell is jaga-ing me.....lol
went summit....got more books n necessaties :)
spend more money....help looo
hahax....goin out alone is reali dangerous....money dangerous.....

then finaly back home wit electricity !
dad called....ask me dinner
i lazy wan but house no food =.=
so went out lu
then my god sometime u jus so disappoint in ur dad u noe....
i duno how 2 describe tis
if i jus write here u wil feel like it's no big deal but stilllll....
dad doesnt wan 2 jaga me
he is not concern
all he wan is his tv
like jus now he practically beg me 2 let him stay in the house coz he wanna c tv....
wat kind of dad is tat
sometime i wanna think good stuff about him
but he ownself ruin it
so it's not my fault ok.....
n god wan punish me for having not nice thought izit
coz it suddenly blackout...
but luckily it came back
tats y im on9 now.....
then later goin out wit yee coz she like no dinner lol...
anyway i nothing 2 do so let's gooo

anyway it is lonely when u r alone
if hav stuff 2 teman u but stillll
i miss mum
i miss a bf
i miss someone who wil b there for me
not family but somebody

hair...shoesss...clothesss

ooo
done my new hair
vincent ask me whether wan go violet
i wan try de
but i taking tis hotel thing
care they ask me dye back again =.=
haizzzz
now it's jus like last time the light brown.....
at least i did something wit it 2 start of this new year

after tat went shopping on my own
not bad....
first time like tis...
lonely but at least i got my stuff....
it is beneficial.....

stupid TNB !!!!

blackout !! twice adi....
one at nite...one in the day
beh tahan wei
wassup wit the electricity plzzzz fix it !!!
i cant tahan keep sleeping in the heat wit no wind....
damn it....

went out wit kel n eli.....1u sing k.....it was good ^^
long time no like tat le....niceeee
so 2day is thurs
im at home
lol....cant wait 4 2molo tooo
wanna shop at cat whiskers n do my hair

getting fat here
suppose no electric so i wanna hit the gym
then i think god dun wan me go gym ah
so electric came back lol....
yesterday raymond class adi la....still the bomb....

no way im havign a crush on a trainer that is like 10 years older than me right???
rite???
i think im nutsss

bro is back

my bro back from uk adi
we of 2 now is 3
cant do as i like in the house olredi if he is around
a man in the house....lol

anyway stil glad tat he is back
im not a single child anymore :)
mum didnt cry lol

the dinner wit him was awesome
jap food again heehee ~ :D
ate my salmon
never go gym so 2day got 2 go gym....anyway it's raymond....
n 2day i need 2 buy storybook la or magsss
sien shi me at home le
suppose go out d but tis kelvin never inform me
so 2molo oni out.....wit eli.....

cant wait until fri la
i wanna do my hair
then go cat whiskers c whether got any new clothes laaaaa

imagination runs wild....

hohohoho
my brain is a place that is quite geng lol
coz 2day i dreamt of vampires
not tat scary la
for got wat story d
but quite interesting
until i woke up
quite blurry
but i remember vampies
lol

2day went body combat
stil so lazy but i noe always after gym i feel best d ^^
then after gym pergi py meet up wit old skool frens....
kuan zee feli su wern & mark....
ate at fullhouse....the new restaurant
so nice wei
next time must go again
thought wan buy things 2day but no mood
so in bought my comics then went back adi

dad just called
he always make me veri geram wan u noe
he said it again
say y nobody tell me anything de???
i was wat the hell =.= u wan noe stuff then ask la
own son coming back aso like dun care pun
so he where got right cakap me y no tell him anything
not like he care aso....
babi most useless father in the world....
sory god i scold my dad
but memang betul !!

dream again....

walao wei
2010 adi but my dreams still the same
always i wit some guy
n we were so loving ^^
tis time got little more story to it....like wit jacob black in new moon.....lol....
y r u jus a dream ?
when r u goin to intercept wit my life n b a part of my heart ?

2day no go gym....duno y....so lazy n sleepy....
but gud aso no go....then oni can dream the nice dream....dream it when the sun rise...
so wait mum back from gym lo
then go pavillion
finally !!
found my shoe for college.......phew ~
then i bought a funky t shirt....can wear to college tooo....heehee
mum shop her stuffs too....more than mine....
so 2day was :)
ate jap for dinner....n donuts.....fat luuu
so 2molo must gymmm !!! raymond !!! xD

hapi new year :)

my first 2010 post! :D
new year eve went 2 mum to the curve
banyak org wei
pack like hell
i bought a victorian gothic black dress ^^
veri hapi
saw 2 movie....avatar n cirque du freak....nice wei the freak....avatar ok ok la...
then dinner at bubba gum....
wow....i love it......best dinner....

then 2day 010110.....nice date
went out wit yen n her bf, jeff n his gf, n yee
not bad lu
coz long time no c them le
went sing k...but not high enough for me.....
i bought a set of clothes too ^^ hope can keep for new year......