im a loner.....

lol
this is a korean song
from a group CN BLUE?
i think that is it....
im a loner?
mayb i am
like to b alone sometime
exception my sister kacao me to teman her
hehehe
i like to read book hear music on my own
of coz watch movie in cinema i would like someone
my mum is cool if i dun hav my frens
im a homey?
mayb....home is where the heart is?
hahax...
i think so....
sometime i prefer to laze around
but not more than 24 hours....
next we hav my gym
the top most propriety on my list
veri important
sory im so obsesed wit it
but it is jus me ok?
accept it or just pass....
lets see
wat else?
loner, homey, gym addict.....
do things my way.....dun care how ppl feel....lol

im sorry....

sorry
i noe sometime i am not a good fren...
when ppl ask me go gathering
im jus so lazy....
i prefer one on one
not a whole group thing
dun reali like open houses or parties.....
i like to go to malls n jalan jalan outside....
parties ouside....gathering outside is fine by me
but not in house....
forbia in house gua....
sorrry
but when you need me
i'll always b there for you....

it has to be you....

that is a song title
from a korean drama call CINDERELLA STEPSISTER

im not cinderella
n i will never be
coz im not kind hearted or anything
im selfish
i only care about myself at times
im rude
i dun care about my elders bsides my mum, bro n sis....
thats all i care about
you know who's the cinderella?
my sis
she's like the angel
she smile at everybody
she's goood to everybody....
i hope she find her true love one day :)

找不到人說 心裡的寂寞
找不到人懂 怕黑的折磨
找不到命中注定 在一起的那个人
很多人都像我 一個人過生活

我在等一個人 在等我的永恒
告訴我 愛不單行 別害怕

will cinderella sister have her own fairy tale too?
yes i believe everyone has one
jus the process of it is different
if you lose one will you hav another one?
yes
when the door closes
surely there is a window
if oni you try to find it

喜欢你怎么办

my forehead has like a big sticker on it which tell people not to come near....
my sis say is bcoz of my devil stare....lol
scary.....hahax....
but if i dun smile....or i am deep in thought
my face memang like tat
wat do you wan me to do wo
n im not a faker
sory
i dun like means i dun like....
got a problem?

do you know....

do you know....
im waiting for the day when i meet him somewhere else besides gym place
where i c him with another gal
holding hands n happy wit each other
yeah....that will toaly break my heart....
bcoz now im in the clueless zone
duno whether he is taken or not....

You might think I dont look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
Im attached to you
Im weak
Its true
Cuz im afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

You dont know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
Im afraid to move
Im weak
Its true
Im just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?

another day

i duno wat to write le
but i think i wil write away anyway
coz i need to write this down
lol
woke up
eat eat
wash movie wit my sis
BACK UP PLAN
jennifer lopez and some handsome guy
lol
nice show la...
make me lovey dovey all over
read my historical romance aso
make me think think think about.....somemore got who?
then gym time....
finaly....
went wit mum
duno y feel like in quite a good mood
laugh wit mum the whole way
lol
laugh wit her frens too
which i seldom do
saw him
as usual....
wat happpen to his gang ah i wonder?
him alone again
try to not look at him
coz mum fill finish water go stand near him
then of coz i go stand wit her right.....==
i dun look at you but i am looking at you
lol
then at first start classs le cant c him through mirror
but after little while he came into view a little bit
then more n more.....
is that a sign?
or he wanna avoid me at first?
i dun get it
i jus enjoy looking at him tats all
push up time pun sama
he walk....but head turn the other way....
2 can play this game okkkkk
i aso turn my head....
but he look so handsome......haizzz.....
watever.....
saw his car in the basement on the way home
trying to look for any clue....
lol
his car very empty wei....
no traces of feminine touch......is that a gud sign? i duno....lol
family man car aso veri simple de ma....
example....my uncles car....so doesnt mean anything....
i oni saw mcd sticker, road tax sticker.....
then finaly a clue !
rhythm avenue sticker !
i check online for the word
rhythm avenue is usj 19
the new place wit the new carrefour n giant nearby
totally the other side of my address ==
he stay so far....but he actually come here for gym....
not bad eh....
i hope he wil continue to do so....
when i start training duno how le =(

not over just yet

emo day 2day
i duno y
think period overload
lol
wake up in the morning
feeling crappy
lol
hair so messy
so tied up to go out
go out eat sakae sushi
no salmon but lazy to order
so makan makan, sis order wat eat order
eat from the converyor belt
then makan habis go carrefour stock up groceries
mood lagi down
i dono why
even my mum call me to confirm my training at ritz carlton aso like no feel like tat
shit la...
but im reali hapi i got the ritz carlton
thank god
begins in july!
wish me luck!

mood no gud until didnt feel like goin gym 2day
duno whether he got go anot leh....
haizzz
i duno wat to do wit him la....
stop invading me!
i think it is coming to an end
will i miss it
yes i will
of coz
handsome stranger
man of my dreams....of my mind....
6 months of training will get me over you i guess
but he was like the perfect of not so perfect.....
hahax....
siao lang....
poetry meh....
im imagination again....
dun mind me....
im a real romantis
waiting for my romance.....

thank you but nothing.....

wow
yet another surprise
i can recognise his back adi
lol
coz 2day i saw this guy's back again
n straight away i was like IT"S HIM
lol
alone again
but he stil talk to gals de la....
n other people....

didnt reali look at him 2day
coz i period
no mood ah ==
jus gave a few intense stare
he aso nothing wan....
haiz....
push up tat time suddenly he wan bhind me ==
i duno why
im not hapi n not sad
coz nothing happen aso
he bhind me, so wat?
it doesnt mean anything...
he can place his mat anywhere he wants....

my conclusion is that
nothing wil ever happen between him n me
he totaly wont make a move, mayb he dun even feel anything....
im positive
it's up to me
but do i wanna do it?
i duno.....==
i feel like wirting a love letter
n jus put it at his car
that is as far as i wil go if im gonna do it....
haiz
but duno la...
the month is coming to an end
if everything goes smoothly
i wil start training on 1st or 5th july....
i noe the love letter wont help me much
coz he wont noe who i am
n mayb he think it is just a joke
but nvm
i jus wanna express myself....
i think i get to see him these 2 days becoz the next 2 days i wont get to see him....
i hav that feeling
coz the tues n wed coach is not here....
so mayb he wont b there....
aiks....
but anyway thanks coz i get to see him.....
i appreciate it... <3

wow surprise......

wow
serious.....
reali...
unexpected
hahaha....veri funny.....lol
anyway
started my day wit waking up....
lazy lazy....
get ready for gym
wake my sis....
then after tat
dad fetch me go gym
then they all go makan lo....

then at gym
i saw tis guy
wit his back facing me...sitting down there....
i straight away thought that the guy look like him
jus sitting there....
then i think....no way....he dun come on a weekend
so i didnt bother

so i jus went in locker room
get ready
n walk out again to fill my bottle water
then i look again
then reali is him wo....
i was like wow....
hahahax....
he wore sleeveless la....so didnt reali look like him
hahax....
but stil steal my breath away....
he was alone....hmmmmm...not wit the gang.....
i pura pura ignore him
when actually i noe he is so obviously there
hahax....
i pretend to look around but i was actually looking at you <3
anyway no progress between he n me
if a guy is interested.....surely he wil b the first one to approach rite?
rite?????
bcoz i duno whether i can take it if i kena reject 2nd time ==
can i?
duno duno
no answer there....
ahhhh
but stil i thank god today for letting me see him
:)
at least stil got that....

p.s. i love you

i stil love the show
it stil giv me the feeling
which i wish i would hav
haizz
nice show wei
super awesome
gerald butler.....
love you till the end

2day went cycling it sis n dad for father's day
i love it !
i love outdoor, nature n sports !
woohoo~~~
nice day.....
ehehehehhe
i love challenge tooo
climb hill
see fishes....
weeee~~~~~<3

i love you
i hope i'll find you one day
even though i aso like to go find u
but i duno la....
it's the last week adi....
should i do something
will i regret it....
hmmmmm

so fast.....

i jus look at the calendar recently
n i jus realised i got less than 4 times to c him la !
it is 2 times oni to b corectly
means next week is the next week le....
ahhhhhh
must appreciate it no matter wat happen
wanna write a love letter?
i duno
hahahax....
next week is my last chance le....
huhuhuhuhu

n my tattooo skin is peeling like onion
lol
anyway i guess it's gud news
means that it is healing !
n i would b able to show off soon
yeah......
lol =p
love of my life
i miss you....
love of my life....
lol
it's a song

haywire mode again.....

lol....
here i amm again....
lovey dovey
lol
coz i jus saw a love thing on tv
so thinking of him
which is not a good thing at the moment
since im gonna c him next week oni

n tattoo getting better n better....
weeeee~~~~ <3
im hapi....

i oni got eyes for you?
love of my life?
looking at you through the mirror?
is not the thing?
is not me
but no choice right?
i duno...

sometime

sometime
im crazy over him
sometime
im ok
nothing
no feeling
like 2day
no crazy feeling like reali got 2 see him
reali miss him
2day tak ada

stay home the whole day
nothing t do
anyway rest awhile coz jus got the tattoo ma
then at night go gym lo
go gym aso half coz of him
so scare that mayb he wont b there
but lucky he was there
i saw him
but he like nothing aso....
so nothing lo...
look at him only lu
then balik....
balik tat time saw him sitting there coz i never bath
so balik early...
he jus sit there....like a normal dude
2day not feeling strong for him
hahax
duno y....
nothing happen 2day wit him ats y i disappointed bah
thats y i dun like when i anticipate
anticipate then will b nothing de...
haizzz....
sAw him once oni tis week
hope wil c more next week
coz i goin training le
haizzz
i count count count
get to see him 4 or less more times oni....
if each of us aso dun miss the class...
hmmm....
duno la...

do i ? am i ?

ahhhhhhhhhhhh
i got my taytooooo
xD
pain like shit wei
but worthy i guess
a love shape
represent all my love of my life
hehehehehe
on my right shoulder
make me cant go gym 2day !
ahhhhhhhhhhhh
make me cant c him 2day !
n i cried bcoz of that.....
lol
i think is my emotion haywire
the tattoo....then canot go gym coz of tatooo
so sad....then cant c him.....so emotion haywire i guess....
lol
something wrong wit me
or i reali reali reali tis time stuck on him?
haizzz
i duno la
when my sis say 2molo mayb let me go gym
i was like so hapi u noe !
siao liao.....hahax....
anyway
i jus know wat im feeling right now....
i miss him !
veri much !
does tat means i like him veri much too ?
i duno....==
i miss him.......!!
2day no go gym veri sad.....
reali veri sad....
but i hope 2molo i can go !
plz!
n plz he b there !
it's world cup now
but i hope he wil b there 2molo !
plz!
plz plz plz plz.....
lol
siao liao....ahahahahax....

love story.....

ok here is my love story
if i ever get my love story
starring me n him
heehee =p
i know im crazy
imagination running wild wit me

well....
it'll b tat he finally hav the guts to talk wit me
n we r goin out
all the lovely dates
but we still act like we duno know each other in gym
hahahhax
then finally after awhile....
getting to know more about each other
we r finaly offcially <3
hehehehe
so my fb status aso change liao....
take a lot of sweet sweet pics wit him
hahax....

yup ts is all that i have think
jus veri veri sweet
but of coz where got i so lucky....
heehee
jus a story to share at the moment

AMF !!!!

wat is AMF?
amigos mother F er !!!
hahax....
from the movie A team :)
love it
sohai 4 man in movie
funny like hell

exam finaly over....
so went out lu....
with mei yee <3
we went karaoke first lol
tat day the sound system super good lo
wakakaka....
then jalan jalan
im reali a bookwormiee
i bought lots of reading material =p
so wat
i love it
my sis complain
but i dun care
ahahahahahax....
then saw the A team movie together wit sis n frens
coz she got extra tix so me n mei yee aso see
so nice....
eheheehehe
lotz of people
mei yee say she smitten onto tat one guy
hahahaax...
i told her tat guy look like jus come out of anime....
but not my type lo.....
but still saw lots of leng chai at 1u....
but stil i was hoping i could c him
i dun wanna jus c him in subang parade or at the gym
i wanna c him somewhere else la....
when did i bcame like tat
is he even tat worthy
im here all so loyal
mayb he there duno doin wat....
lol
heading for a heart heart heartbreak !

my mood change like the clouds !!!

keep on sleeping sleeping sleeping
alarm actualy put veri early de
but then keep putting later to wake up...
duno y
pillow too nice i guess....

then go chee chee house first....
study n chat wit her lo....
then go skool for exam....
hot like hell
always sweat like hell ==
dun like lo....
haizz....

eng exam i jus simply do oni gua
no mood to do aso
then fai fai come out....
then wait for chee they all....
then chit chat....
then balik lo....
duno la....
i think i bond best wit chee oni lo
other frens like aiks....
duno la....
hope will recover soon

then balik rumah
makan
tengok sis
suppose wan sleep but didnt sleep coz got tis great movie on astro
it is called WHY DID I GET MARRIED
saw it wit sis
this movie a lot of drama wan
gao funny lo...
make me scare of marriage....lol
but coz got gym so cant c finish the show....

went to gym wit a good mood coz of the show
lol
walk in to class lo....
saw him lo
aso saw a lengchai standing at my place there
but i wasnt interested.....lol
geng leh
then i notice oh
he was looking at me through the mirror....
i duno whether i perasan or not...
but when i look at him through the mirror...
i saw him looking back too...
izit my mind playing tricks on me
hahahaha....duno...dun care.....

then through out the class....
i keep looking at him through the side mirror....
coz now front mirror cant see him anymore....
but nvm....side mirror is also good....
i look away everytime his head turn in my direction....
he is seriously occupying my head...
hahax....

then push up tat time aso leh....
i thought wont b able to see him....
coz usually push up cant c him de ma....
mana tau when cooling down tat time....
i notice my line of sight included him in it....
hahaz....
so lucky....
n mayb it s my imagination
but through out the whole class
i can always c his head turn in my direction when he think im not lookin....
hahahahax....
im jus saying oni!
mayb it's true...mayb it's not....
i duno....n mayb i dun wanna know....im content i guess....

then put back the mat tat time aso
i always c him through the mirror so he wont noe ma
mana tau tis time when i look through the mirror
i saw him looking through the mirror at me too....
lol
mayb it's my mind trick again la....hehe
i stil dun dare look at him but who cares
not like he made anything to wanna know me better
i will resist of not making the first move
unless im desperate
lol....
im hapi like tat i guess
i noe it will end someday
tats the day heartbreak will come....

then dad n sis late fetch me
mood getting foul
then go back home
kena mum marah
yeah it jus get worst
thought hapi hapi
but then it end in misery
great la
thx la....

other things.....

there is aso other things about my life bsides him =p
today exam sucks!
i gave up n didnt care
wasnt in a mood anymore....
then chee suddenly say wan go watch movie
i told her i was up for it since i drove today
then she aso serious so we went to watch SHREK FOREVER AFTER !
i rate it ok ok la
coz saw so many shrek movie bfore it
i always think tat the first movie was the best !
where shrek rescue fiona....

then after tat went home
on the way home got news from lecturer about my training
finally got interview on friday
wish me luck ! <3

then balik enjoy wit sis
saw this great love movie LEAP YEAR
i totally love it
feeling all lovey dovey today
thats y mayb today crazy bah....
somemore wat happen wit him....
even more siao.....

god playing wit me again?!?!?!

well
obviously always like tat
when u say oh i dun wanna care about it anymore
god put it right in front of ur face
n i didnt take the chance again
bcoz i already decide not to take it
always like tat
n tis time it's nearer n closer
it's driving me nuts !
but he didnt do anything aso
so mayb he also not interested la
god jus make me hapi for awhile oni
haizzz
well here's how it goes

went early to subang parade coz sis n mum wan hav fish market for dinner
so folow them lo
i didnt eat la coz later got gym
after dinnet went grocery shopping at cold storage
was peacefully shopping n enjoying wit my crazy sis
wasnt thinking about anything

then come the time to pay at the cashier
aso jus like normal putting the stuff on counter n in trolley
but!!! suddenly!!
i look at the person bhind my mum
lining up after us to pay
guess wat
it's him ==
i aso duno hapi or not
i was too shock for words
i jus continue to talk to my sis
act like i didnt care
act like i duno
he wore working clothes....
handsome la....shit...
after paying
sis push trolley
i was like walking in front
coz like trying to avoid him
but everytime i turn bhind to talk to my sis n mum
he is there ==
i scare he heard everything we said....
he was alone.....
after he pay finish aso bhind us....
==
then halfway walking out of parkson....
he walk faster so he was in front....
i jus stare at his back....
saw him walking to the left while me sis mum walk on the right
so thought will jus c him in gym later
mana tau ==
when i was saying gudbye to sis n mum at the lift
duno y he appear bhind again ==
so he was walking bhind me as i walk to gym
so he actualy got the chance to talk to me if he wan to rite?
he aso didnt do anything
halfway walkin aso he gone adi
coz when i look bhind he not there....
so do you think he is interested
i dun think so....
he got the same chances i aso got
he is a guy
if he wanna make a move
he got a chance there
but he didnt
so y must i do it?
even though i wanna do it jus to get over it
but im sure that when i wanna do it
god wont giv me a chance again
always like tat
when i 4get...here he is in front of me
when i remember.....he is no where to b found....
typical.....
u noe wat sis comment?
say he look older a lot
n look like a married guy ==

disconnected

feeling disconnected
from my course
from my frens
duno y
feel like no mood
y la....
hope tis past soon!

now exam
veri sien lo
dun feel like it....

bought new sport shoe for gym <3
weeee~~ <3
white with green sole
hahax
i veri like
n veri comfortable when body combat :)

well here's a song
for you <3

I'm sitting across from you
I'm dreaming of the things I'd do
I don't speak, you don't know me at all

For fear of what you might do
I say nothing
But stare at you
And I'm dreaming, I'm tripping over you

Truth be told, my problem's old
You mean the world to me but you'll never know
You could be cruel to me
Why go risking the way that I see you
That I see you, that I see you, that I see you, that I see you, that I see you"

Conversation's not me at all
I'm hesitating, only to fall
And I'm weighted, I'm hating everyone

Could it be...you feel for me?
In any possible similarity
If it's so, how would I know?
You'll never know me at all...

I'm standing across from you
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do
<3

maybe just

mayb i dun wanna hav another chance
i survive the week without much thinking about him
so should b a good thing right?
yeah yeah yeah
i hope so
god help me

the incident of the lift reali puts me off
so mayb i jus think about it everytime i get lovey dovey
yeah yeah
tats a good way to stop
i hope
n how he avoid my gaze....
wont come near me...
yeah....
think oni all about tis....
yeah....lol...i think....

dun funk with my heart

god is trying to test me i think
i mean
i wrote the paper
for him
but in the end
i was a coward n tear it up
i should not hav done tat
bcoz god gave me a chance
but i was too scare i blew it

sis drive me go gym
we park car coz she wan jalan jalan
then suddenly when finding carpark.....
saw him driving car....
i was like shock until duno wat 2 do
i keep pretend tat i didnt c him
shit
i should b braver !
now i regret it....
i didnt walk up to him n talk to him
haizzz....
i jus kept sticking to my sis
bcoz i was scare....
damn it.....
he drove a purple reddish proton wira
i even jot down the number plat....
lol
jus in case....
i know.....im crazy.....

anyway tis make me hapi
but wat he did didnt make me hapi
we were walking to the lift
he was bhind
then as we got there
wait for life to come lo
as i turn back to see him....finaly got the courage....
u know wat he do?
he freaking move away n walk out....
i was like wtf....
tat is like total rejection right?
he cat even stand begin in the same lift as me?
come on la....
am i tat bad?
haizzz
total heartbreak man tat one....

then gym time lu....
saw him....
my eyes only hav him
but i dun think he has me
i reali jus wanna walk up to him n ask him is he single n get over it....
haizzzz
god dun play wit me
is either u giv me another chance....or dun giv me at all
dun giv me hope if you r goin to bring me down again.....

y must i always make the first move?
i wan to make it jus to clear tis thing up
so i wont think about it anymore....
i even went down to basement again just to see whether i can get another chance....
but i jus saw his car....
haizzz...
im reali stupid right?
yes i am....

will u give me another chance?

my stupid love letter to you.....

hey you !
the guy standing over there
i know we dont know each other
but i think i got tat feeling for ya

i know im not the one on ur mind
but i wanna b that gal tat take your breath away
must i take the first step so that you will know
wats goin on inside of me

when i dun see you, im disappointed
when i see you, im sad
i cant get you outta my head
looking at handsome guys is no cure
i only compare you to them
baby cant you see
i pretend that i dun care
but actually i care the most !

if you're not single
it's time for me to put you bhind

but if you're single
i wish that u will give me a chance
to show you how i feel

looking at you 2 times a week is not enough
how i wish tat i could see you everyday
the guy standing there
wats your name whats your number
i wanna get to know you
would you give me a chance
i may younger than you a lot
but hey age does not matter to me
i hope it does not to you too

im just holding on to 'what if'
by confssing my feelings to you
if it fails
this is the end.....

this canot, that canot....=/ wat can ?

seriously
something broken in me
i think
lol
after presentation
ok ok lo
see guys in skool aso nothing wei.....==
reali broken joh......lol
sis fetch me back.....
then go home makan makan....
then rest
then sis wake me up to go carrefour to buy her stuff....
went carrefour.....
saw quite a few guys.....
guys that look like they work n veri grown up.....
lol
but i feel nothing?
seriously ?
i duno.....==
wtf....
i like c them....but i think of him? haizzz....
siao deh adi me....

then gym time
i keep looking around for him !
omg ==
then didnt c him....
class start aso he never come
then feel disappointed woh ==
haizzz....
then suddenly after music start....
when i turn to mirror to look
eh?
saw him sitting bhind there tying his hand for combat....
lol....
he late wo....
hapi to see him wo....
== damn....
but then i dun think he interested adi...
cant c him through the mirrors liao...
he would look at me anymore....

wat to do la !!!
dun c him aso sad
c him aso sad
dun look at him sad
look at him aso sad
arghhhhhh
should i confess?
i feel like confessing
then b sad n heartbroken
then get over it
not hanging here like an idiot....

i rather hurt than feel nothing at all.....