if only

i dun wan 2 jus look look look
i wanna do something
but m i brave enough 2 approach u again? i duno
coz the ball is sort of in ur hands...
haizzz
if u aint moving, there wil b no movement....great =.=
here's a song 4 u

Every single time I see you I start to feel this way

Makes me wonder if I'm ever gonna feel this way again

There's a picture that's hanging in the back of my head

I see it over and over

I want to hold you and love you in my arms and then

I want to need you cause I need to be with you til the end

Then I hear myself reply you've got to hold it in

This time, tonight

If only I had the guts to feel this way

If only you'd look at me and want to stay

If only I'd take you in my arms and say

I won't go cause I need you

I sit here, waiting, wondering, hoping, that I'll make this right

Cause all I think about is your hands

Your face, and all these lonely nights

There's a feeling that's screaming in the back of my head

Saying over and over

I want to hear you say

It'll always be this way

We will be hand in hand for every night and every day

I want to scream and shout

Cause I'm losing any doubt

And all I care about is you and me and us and now

mondays sucks, tuesday gets better, 2molo?

monday 4get 2 write coz no mood
but now can write coz 2day was totaly better =)
i think i got half of my bravery back adi....thx...

monday i avoided him
i noe he was there
but i didnt look
didnt dare
haizzz
but he keep appearing in front of me...
so typical lo
when u dun wan 2 c him, he is always there....
he aso didnt talk 2 me lo....
i duno whether he got look at me anot lo...
tat wan i can jus ownself imagine....

tuesday
service day
i thought i bcome host
wont masuk kitchen
mana tau
i help bcome waitress coz not enough ppl =.=
during preparation of restaurant
keep on c him through the window lo...
serving tat time aso can c him....quite content adi wan lo like tat

then after serve finish
masuk kithen cuci pinggan
i never ever wan 2 wash plates again man =.= hate it
anyway i broke a plate xD
but nobody said anything so ok lo.....
HaHax

finally wash finish joh =.=
then i go take a drink 4 myself
then i c tis hand waving at me...
him wo
always ask me 4 water =.=
m i jus there 2 get him water ah? for convinient ah? =.=
then actually told him he cant drink de lo
coz teacher say ktichen ppl cant drink
but at the end i aso take 4 him lo =.=
tats all
duno means wat
mayb nothing...
i treat everybody the same de lo....
tis kitchen guy aso came out 4 coffee
i past him my glass lo since i havent pour yet
so it's normal rite?
i think so....
dun think so much
later like GIGI -.-
but since he start first, i got bravery 2 b like last time wit him lo...
gud gud....better than nothing...

something my fren posted....love it =)

Don't expect anything and expect nothing...

live life on how it is and not how you want it to be...

life will give you what you want and you don't have to go get what you need...

just do what you're supposed to do and what you're supposed to get will naturally come to you...

who can hold my hand?

Saw you from a distance
Saw you from the stage
Something about the look in your eyes
Something about your beautiful face

In a sea of people
There is only you
I never knew what the song was about
But suddenly now I do

Trying to reach out to you, touch my hand
Reach out as far as you can
Only me, only you, and the band
Trying to reach out to you, touch my hand

Can't let the music stop
Can't let this feeling end
Cause if I do it'll all be over, I'll never see you again
Can't let the music stop
Until I touch your hand
Cause if I do it'll all be over, I'll never get the chance again
I'll never get the chance again
I'll never get the chance again

I see the sparkle of a million flashlights
A wonderwall of stars
But the one that's shining out so bright is the one right where you are

full stop

tis is the end of u n me
actually there wasn't any u n me
jus me looking at u
chasing after u
noticing u

but not anymore
i said bfore tat
if u do not giv me a reaction
well no more actions from me

im tired
now only i noe how guys feel when they go after the gals tat they like
its reali hard
so im giving them credits now
for bravery 2 go after the gal tat they like :)

so gals
plz dun straight away turn down a guy
giv them a chance
but if u reali dun like them
plz dun take a long time too
it wil oni hurt them deeper

i had my chance
it was jus not mend 2 b i guess
so im here
giving up n forgetting him entirely
i dun regret
bcoz i hav tried

now currently listening 2 YIRUMA
soothing ~ <3

献给你的歌

喜欢你冷淡的安静
笑容优胜墨了太阳
我只能偷笑

怀疑自己的冲动
怕机会一瞬间错过
却停步在想

你说
我们是两个世界的人
是否可能
我相信
只要我爱你
什么都可以
一切都可以

我爱你
爱你没道理
没道理爱你
爱你就可以
就是痴心你
痴心理着你
这里在爱你
就让我撑你

无法理解你不说话
我进不到你心里面
像有一道墙

怀疑当初的冲动
是不是开始就是错
许多事没想

你说
我们是两个世界的人
没有可能
我以为
只要我爱你
什么都可以
一切都可以

我爱你
爱你没道理
没道理爱你
爱你就可以
就是痴心你
痴心理着你
这里在爱你
就让我撑你

或许不爱你
也不需要你
我无法继续
继续骗我自己
必须要放弃
要放弃了你
你在我心底
希望她比我爱你
爱你
还是你的歌

tis is for u if tis is the end....

ph 5.5

it was ok 2day wit him
it was my first outing wit him
so surely not a lot of thing 2 talk n say
overall ok ^^
stil hapi tat i got a chance 2 go out wit him
if tis ends here....
at least i went out once wit him
thx jae kang ^^

Tsunami was nice ^^
there was the stupid part, n the sad part.
me n him was laughing....HaHax...

he seriously dun like sweet stuff
he eat the popcorn wan, he aso dun wan caramel, he order salt popcorn xD

after the show went 2 eat ramen....
then jalan jalan....
he's shopping for sunglasses
so teman him lu...
at then end he bought a GUCCI sunglasses for like RM600++
wow....he's rich...HaHAx
he paid 4 everything....=) thank you veri much....

if got second outing....i wanna pay something 4 him too =)
if only.....

第一步我踏出去了，如果没有回应，就挂上句号吧
现在就看会怎样吧

im in im in im in!

wow wow wow
u will never guess wat happen! xD
tis afternoon
he msg my fb
say hapi holiday
wat am i doin
i say i watching youtube lo
then he say he goin shopping

then i jus suddenly have the guts 2 ask him out! xD woohoo!
n guess wat!
he said yes!
i was like WOW!
cant believe it la xD

goin out 2molo
seeing TSUNAMI AKA KOREAN MOVIE
at 1.40pm....new wing 1u
meet at 1pm =)

现在才知道是多么需要勇气的，不管结局怎样，绝不后悔，因为我有尽力 =)

i quit i quit i quit!

i quit these stupid games wit him

i quit talking 2 him

i quit looking at him

i quit noticing him

i quit acknowledging him

coz all i get is emptiness
disappointment
i've never ever try so hard 2 catch a guy's attention
now i noe the feeling
it sucks!

im jus fed up
dun wanna care wat my frens say tat he always kacao me, talk 2 me oni
it's all bullshit
tis is the limit
he is the most dungu guy i've ever known!
cutting all the lines
if he talk oni i talk
if not no talk!

im like GIGI in HE'JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
getting all the wrong signal
ownself imagining things tat dun even exist!
falling 4 a stupid guy which dun even care whether u're there or not
im the rule, not the exception

2day veri tired...

stuck in the jam like 2 hours
walao eh
tired like shit when came back

kitchen time aso kena marah here marah there...

wit frens was totaly gud ^^
joke a lot =)
thx u guys
i love ya~

wit him was aso gud sign ^^
coz he came over n ate the food which i da pao from chilli's
then i aso mai drink his drink lo xD
hahax...
i was like pointing at his drink
then he giv me wo xD
so gud...^^
i didnt use his straw la....
i drink from the cup..
but stil sharing drink rite? keke ^^
kelvin say i no need wipe my mouth adi xD
so bad de lo him...hahax =p

morning went 2 chili's 2 makan 4 group assign
veri boring....but wit chris it was ok...thx chris =)
came back 2 skool....in class was fun =)

now veri tired...
goin 2 bath then sleep lu =0
eyes like drooping joh ==

hope 2molo is a another nice day too =)

想要告诉你.....

默默在你的身旁，默默守候
多想看你不静宜的笑容
我说我的心你不懂
我努力让你感动

在你眼中有多么笨的我
绝不放弃追逐你的时候
只要你能再多回应我
一个笑或点头全接受

能不能再靠近一点点
说出你所有感觉， 让我听见
别在静心关在自由自己的世界
我会在这边

能不能再靠近一点点
能不能再勇敢一点点
就算我知道我永远只是单恋
我也会藏着感谢，笑着和你说再见

corect or incorect?

i totaly ignore him 2day....
coz they keep teasing me =.=
duno how 2 talk 2 him aso...
didnt get any chance....except at the last.....
well....here goes the story....

i drove alone 2 skool 2day xD
veri hapi
totaly nice man
no mum nagging bside me....fan dou sei =p
but car kena mud water xD
dirty like shit...HAHaxx

then reach chee's house
park there lo
then wait 4 her....
walk wit her 2 skool....
KeKexxx...

reach class lo....
jus act normal....didnt look at ihtm6 side...
HaHax...=p
then tis kelvin la....bfore i duduk then debating wit me about yesterday's sit in the cinema =.=
swt lo....
then finaly i sit down joh....
but then sit too front...
so wan tukar lo....tell chee lo...
ask chee sit bside kelvin...
she say dun wan...say i got more things 2 talk wit kelvin =.=
swt lo
kelvin aso got talk 2 her de ma
at last i sit bside kelvin....she sit my other side

then he came....
wear pink colar shirt eh ^^ he look veri nice in it de lo
so start ms.gan class lo....
nothing much lu.....

then after class.....he jalan dulu adi lo =.= huh
me n chee go 2 square 2 beli makanan lo
i sure buy bubble tea again lo...
chee hui bought cake
we share =)
she feed me
i feed her
HaHAx...
then met deidre
then met chris there aso....
talk laugh talk laugh xD

after tat...deidre wan go find teacher
so me, chee n chris jalan 2 class
on the way met stupid kelvin xD
so masuk class lo....
dickson n kin lam there adi lo...
chris n eli aso come join us...
then we keep laughing n joking....xD veri funny lo
then duno y they keep teasing me wit him =.=
especially tis kin lam, kelvin, chris, even chee leh! =.="
like tat make me more pai seh 2 talk 2 him lo....haizzz
i keep on doin kin lam 4 revenge...HaHAx....
then chris say wan sit wit us
i ask him sit wit me
then kin lam aso ask chris sit wit him =.=
then i mai snatch chris wit him lo xD
i keep pull chris jacket xD
keep kacao him lo
at the end i win! xD
coz chris sit wit me =p
then kin lam aso move down 2 sit wit us....keep kacao me wit jk again....blek...
chris veri cute la....like my bro xD so cute coz he so small size....Hahax....
kacao him until very cute la ^^
n he aso not scare if i go near him de...KAKax...
normal fren oni ma...
nothing wat...
now im single...
if got bf different la...now dun hav wat =p
then teacher came in...
read us exam tips....
then duno y hoh....
suddenly jk was sitting at the row bhind me....bside dickson....
i was shock eh...i was like eh??? when he sit there de....
coz when i look bhind 2 giv li mei my paper.....oni kelvin ask me 2 look 2 my right..
oni i saw him lo....
but he so quiet...
jus ask chris paper 2 copy oni....

i should hav took the chance 2 talk 2 him lo! haiz!
ask him y he here ah, wat he copying ah!
duno where my braveness fly 2 joh....haiz!
but i didnt dare 2 look bhind....y ah y ah T.T
at then end....he balik 2 his own place joh T.T

after class end....
he was standing in front....ticking his attendance...
i was looking at him lo...haiz...
no chance 2 talk aso...

he same group wit chee hui...so gud lo T.T
their group plan 2 go sunway
so i drove 2 ihtm6 gals n chee plus myself 2 sunway.....
we safely reached in gud hands xD
after tat find their restaurant....
then i left them n go jalan jalan myself 2 past time 2 wait 2 chee 2 finish

later chee call me
say finish joh
so go meet her
on the way
saw her group...
i from far aso can c him adi...^^ mayb its the pink shirt...im not sure...
so said hi 2 the group n him
walk past him tat time...
he suddenly ask y i here de?
i say i wit chee hui ma...
then he say oooo
then chao liao =.=
haizz...
tat was our oni conversation 2day...

later jalan jalan wit chee
makan snacks lo....
talk talk talk
say wan go skating....c how lu
then send her back
i aso balik

overall nice day wit my frens...
but not wit him T.T

how do i get through 2 u?
tell me how do i get closer 2 u?
wanna talk but duno how
show me a way
mayb he's not interested....haizzz
liking someone is confusing, complicated.....troublesome!

2day was not 1 of those days again

2day he didnt choi me =.=
haiz
duno wats up wit the fellow
so quiet oh

he told chris he headache wo
hope he is ok bah
if he 2molo like tat again
i reali will very sad lo T.T

coz jus now i on the way go out of skool wit chee n kelvin
say bai bai 2 the fellow aso no reaction
no manners de ==
chris at least aso got say bai bai
stupid idiot
huh!

if u continue like tat, i dun choi u wan ah!

2day watch GAMER wit kelvin n chee
sicko violent show 2 me la
coz all tis crazy ppl
yer!! =.=
but gerald butler stil handsome =p
tats all 4 2day!
plz choi me! xD

bartender :)

2day service again
i bcome bartender
hahax....
he again come n ask 4 drink xD
funny lah him

anyway on my fb i wrote u wan coffee? tea? or me? xD
then he got comment lo
he said no need =.= so shui wan'
then i said pick me la xD
then he say by axe =.=
then i told him 2molo i dun giv him drink xD
then he say i can tell him tis after i giv him =.=
HaHAx...
he's quite funny at times

hapi day ^^

german in the morning
survive through it again
kakax...

then 2day i service lo
bcome cashier =.=
no chance 2 masuk kitchen oh
haizzz
so thought mayb no contact wit him lo
but then???
he always surprise me de lo
talk 2 me through the glass again
say giv him a drink
i was like har?
ask him ownself come take la
then he say keep 4 him wo
swt
at the end i say no drinks 4 u xD
i somemore blek at him lo xD
funny~~

then after i take the money 2 HQ
i came back 2 restaurant 2 makan lo
makan in kitchen
thought got chance 2 talk but he busy wit his own stuff
then went back out lo...
thought no chance adi
but he always stil surprise me ^^
talk through the glass again =.=
say where is his drink
i was like har again??
then i look at lecturer first
then ask him come
he come wo...haHax
then i told him y u jus now dun drink?
now no more liao
drink water la....then i point at the paip water xD
then he like pura wanna hit me xD

at then end he went in 2 drink his fren's drink
then come out return cup 2 me
wanna throw cup at me xD
teacher marah xD
dai sei
haHax...
so 2day veri funny lo ^^

after class
wait 4 chee hui
wit classmate at comp
veri funny lo xD

later wit kin, kelvin, chee, lisa, pui yan n andrew go yam cha
little while then lisa, pui yan n andrew left joh
veri fuuny lo ^^ laugh gao gao xD
hahax
2day veri nice ^^

then i saw fb
jk, kelvin n chee comment until veri funny lo
i aso laugh like hell XD
glad tat we r making fren wit him ^^

take time 2 realise......

2day quite enjoyable lo
had shabu shabu wit eli, chee, n deidre ^^
veri nice lo
then after tat eli, kin n deidre go karaoke
me n chee go c mooovie
final destination
a lot of organs flying around =.=
overall movie okkkk laaaa

then after tat jalan jalan wit chee
then take her go back home

mum came back from singapore
bought a cute teddy bear 4 me ^^
veri hapi
orange colour de....

well, wanna go 2 important part?
2day i thought totaly no chance 2 talk 2 him adi lo
but then hoh????
eh???
when his fren came over 2 talk 2 me n chee hoh
he aso came over lo ^^
he wanna look at chee's ic
but chee dun wan giv him lo
haha
quite funny
he keep stepping on the table n chairs
then finaly he sat in front of me
ask me whether i got the slide of the class anot
i say dun hav wo...

then next he look n touch at my bracelet
then i mai tell him he can wear n c lo
giv him wear then he break it xD
tats the funniest part xD
he was like wth????
HaHAAHAHax.....
he wan 2 ganti balik la
but i say nvm lo
coz its cheap stuff ma...so old adi
then he saw my crystal bracelet
play play wan wear aso
then i say dun wan, coz its real de
HaHaHaHax XD

then his fren help me pick the beads ma, he aso picking
but i say no need coz i aso dun wan adi ma
then they 2 take the beads n throw each other xD
then he stepping over all the tables again
reali veri swt xD

then when i back home
play fb
he go add my fb lo
xD hapi ^^
finaly can c his fb lo
then read his fb lo
actually ok oni lo
get 2 noe a little bit more of him
suddenly not so excited about him adi =)
so mayb tats a gud thing lo....
i think
hahax
not so crazy liao....
hahax =p
suddenly no feeling liao xD

dream is better than reality

overall 2day im below average =.=
mood not reali gud about him
but im great wit my frens =D
laugh like hell xD

i dreamt about him during my afternoon nap
veri nice dream
wanna hear? hahax
i'll make it short n go 2 the gud part =)

we were in skool
me n him n some frens
then duno y we were all walking 2gether
then i and some ppl kena stuck in a room
i shout help
he n my frens came back
ask teacher open door 4 me lo

after i came out
i suddenly c he veri fren wit 1 of my gal frens
so i jealous xD so typical of me
so moody lo
never choi they all

then suddenly he approach me
ask me whether i wan 2 go out wit him
he wan buy something
then we mai chat chat lo
tat time i was like so hapi he ask me out ^^

then next scene,
i was goin out wit him at the mall
we were looking through toys, fooling around xD
then i hug him aso, wit my arms around his waist >.<
hold hand aso
it was like we were a couple adi
wil it come true
i hope it would xD
then end joh =.=
haizzzz

i wanna dream more about u
reality sucks =.=

jus now saw my fren fb tat add him de
he got comment him lo
so gud >.<
haizzz
how do i get ur attention la???

its like waiting 4 the cat 2 grow horns

if i dun talk 2 him eh
i think he wil never ever come n talk 2 me lo

so mayb i should try lo
if i never talk 2 him, but he got come n talk 2 me, it means something
if i never talk 2 him, n he aso dun bother coming 2 talk 2 me,
well, mayb i should giv up

im quite fed up of tis staring, looking but not talking thing adi =.=
n my fren reali confirm tat he jus broke up wit his gf few months ago lo
so mayb he's stil into it
i dun stand a chance

haizzzzz
coz i dun feel like caring anymore

another day!

2day no progress
coz he no come in kitchen
he bcome cashier =.=

but i get 2 c him
adi veri hapi adi ^^
my fren hoh
go add his fb leh =.=
can c his pic ah
his dog pic ah
his dog so super cute lo >.<
n his fb write looking 4 a relationship wo
so he is single la? xDXDXD
mayb yes may no
hmmmmm

anyway 2day i think he got look at me bah
when chef briefing tat time hoh
i was looking at chef la
then through the glass i saw him bhind
i try 2 concentrate look at chef lo
but he got look inside leh
n i was the oni 1 standing there leh
he aso look quite long leh
so was he looking at me?
is tat something?
plz make it something >.<

i duno but
i think i mayb
falling 4 u
dropping so quickly~~~
n i cant keep tis inside me
but mayb i should
jus so tat i can get 2 noe u better~~
:)
p.s. i love u

o ya
his bday is on march 30 1989
my fren help me check de ^^
tat make him an aries
same like me lo ^^
duno whether gud anot leh =/
hope so
im wishing....

na tang sin......ILY....

oh hapi day ^^
hapi night^^

2day in the morning hav german!
was not reali paying attention
but got through it....*relieve*
hav half class oni coz got 2 rush 2 kitchen 2 get ready ingredients 2 open restaurant....
so busy busy busy
then 10am...
ihtm6 arrive at restaurant
saw him lo
through the glass =)
he never wear specs oh 2day >.< lagi handsome
hahax =p
keep on looking at him through the glass lo
coz he aso never masuk kitchen
i aso never go out

12pm
restaurant buka
veri little ppl
less than 10 oh....
he got nothing 2 do lo
so he go bhind n wash plate
stil no chance 2 talk
jus keep looking

at long last
finally
he took the cutleries n came 2 the kitchen 2 wash
i was standing bside the basin ma
so got chance XD
firstly i saw him, jus say hi lu
then i was standing
then i nearly slip coz floor veri slippery
he c then he laugh XD
i aso laugh lu
then when he finish
i got the guts 2 ask him y he never wear specs 2day
i told him contact lenses ah?
at first he dun understand me
then at last he say no, then duno say wat
i aso never hear
then he chao joh =.=
sad....
hahax

then again he came into kitchen
throw rubbish
holding a cup, drinking coffee i think 0.0
then i was standing at the door
mai say hi again, like kacao type
then he saw me
then he approach me, wan kacao my cap xD
i surely avoid la, he wan mess my hair,
he didnt get 2 touch, so he chao again xD

got progress rite rite rite?
xD
i adi veri hapi adi....
then when eat food in the kitchen tat time
he aso stand bside me de
quite close lo
but we didnt talk
coz i was doin something
wasted =.=

at the end
he balik first lo for sure
service ppl balik veri early de lo
he was standing at the glass there
looking through
wanna say gudbbye
but didnt get a chance
haizzz

but!
2day veri hapi joh ^^
thx god =)
2molo must b braver!